Looking for Something?

Another Advice Column.



My name is Fee (yes, it’s short for something, it’s a german name, I’m from Germany) and I really like talking about sex. My origin story is very telling: I went to a feminist event where someone did a talk on heteronormativity and why it needs to burn and when I asked the person what they did for a living they said “sex educator” and my whole world lit up. That is a job? You can do that? You can be the person that makes people have a more wholesome, healthy, fulfilling experience with sex and their sexuality? And you can further the feminist and queer agenda while doing so? The only tricky thing was that I was, what society likes to call, ~a virgin~. (Virginity isn’t real.) I also was and am fat, mentally ill, covered in self harm scars and queer so not exactly what is usually deemed “fuckable”. Plus, I wasn’t ready to have sex. So that was a struggle because I felt my passionate interest in sex came across like I was overcompensating not getting fucked. But here’s the thing: Sex ed is not about having sex. Well, not entirely. It’s about gender stereotypes, sexualized violence, consent, feminism, queerness, body positivity, ableism, reproductive health, gender, mental health, racism, media literacy, (trans)misogyny, empowerment and basically everything you have ever thought about.
This is where I should tell you that I’m not a professional. I did intern with a sexual health charity and I spend almost all my waking hours thinking and learning about sexuality but I have not been trained as a sex educator, I have never attended a human sexuality class at a university. Let’s also talk about my privileges: I’m white, ablebodied ad (kinda) middle class (again). If you want to talk to someone about sex who isn’t all that, I can probably recommend someone.
But if you need a bisexual, fat, mentally ill, hella queer and hella feminist babe that knows stuff about being in a (long distance) relationship with an asexual mega babe, intersectional analysis of oppression, is confused about their own gender* and has a passion for sex toys, queer porn and making the world safe for everyone and their sexuality, hit me up. Because that’s what this is: A call for you to ask me your questions about sexuality, relationships, gender, everything. Of course, you can stay anonymous and if you don’t want it published on Powered by Girl, I’ll send you a private email.
Let’s talk, yeah?
You can reach me via my tumblr ask box or on the pbg facebook page.
(*For clarification: I am currently questioning my gender.)

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