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Hey, hot things

Author:
OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

A poem by Ananda Gervais

Content Note: sexual assault, street harassment

I am 13 and I’m walking to my friends house and you honk your horn and role down the window as you pass me, pursing your lips to send me kisses, I don’t understand so I look down and avoid eye contact. I ask myself what I did, what did I do to get such attention, what did I do to deserve this disrespect, I am 13.

I am 14 and I’m walking through the school hallways, and you think it is appropriate to smack your hand against my ass, I do not know you, this is not welcome. So when I turn round I intend to yell at this intruder of my personal space of my body but before I can say anything you get on the defensive. ‘it was just a joke’ you say. No it was not just a joke it was assault. 

I am 15 and walking home with my friend, it is 9 oclock and the sky is black when you start to follow us. There are two of you and we are scared and reminding each other that we just aim for the nuts. You call after us, ‘hey hot things, wanna play.’ No I most certainly do not want to play so we carry on walking. You call again ‘hey, white girls, stop for a minute, I want to look at you’ I turn around and tell you to stop and my friend tells you to ‘fuck off.’ You step forward and I am genuinely scared for my life, but you retreat calling us whores and bitches as you get into your car.  When I later tell one of my friends, she asks me what I was wearing.

I am 16 and you push me up against the wall and tell me to kiss you, I refuse and you push me harder, trying to grope me. I struggle out of your grasp, you call me a prude I tell you to bite me. I tell you if I ever saw you try that again I would break your arm.  An hour later I see you do the same thing to my very drunk friend, she tells you to stop, you don’t. So I push you off her and you stumble to the floor, your friend tells me to relax. I should of broken your arm.

I am 17 and am walking in the darkness with my best friend as we had decided to be fun and spontaneous and surprise another friend of ours when you drive up to us, there are 4, maybe 5 of you in that car and as you yell at us I assure my friend that everything will be okay. I’m not sure what words of abuse you hurled at us but when we stayed silent and walked on you yelled at us to at least be polite and have a conversation with you. Are you actually telling us to be polite, because to me that’s the greatest irony of all.

I am 18 and my bus stops, I get off, noticing you, who had been staring at me for the last 8 stops are also getting off the bus. I clench my fists and speed walk through the dark streets, my house seeming further away than usual. You follow me at my first turn and then the second, I immediately accept my fate. Dialling my mother’s number and leaving her a message to tell her I love her. As I hang up you turn a corner away from me and I let out a breath of relief.

I like being a girl, its fun and slightly complicated and I would never wish to not be me, not for an instant. But in instances like these and many like it, I do not want to be a girl. For a flighting second I wish to be you, I wish to not have to walk alone in fear and to not have to worry about how my choices in clothing might be interpreted, but sadly, wishes rarely come true.

Get involved with The Coding Girls

Author:
6145817075_2536dd7b4c_z

Guest post by Aishwarya Singh

Growing up, I loved to play in the dirt and in sand boxes, but was told that was super dirty. People still ask me; “Why are you so obsessed with The Flash? That’s so boyish. You’re never gonna get a boyfriend that way.” First of all, screw you for saying that DC is for boys. Second of all, Grant Gustin is super hot. 

I proved all the haters wrong when they made assumptions about me based on my gender. Due to some malfunction with my schedule, I got put into a computer science class in 10th grade (Comp Sci for us cool kids). That screw up was the best screw up of my life. 

And at first, it was totally awesome (not!). There were only two other girls out of my class of 25 (lucky me, right?) and I had no friends. The boys – oh god the boys – it was as if they had never seen girls before, like I was some sort of extraterrestrial species. It was like I was a skipping, prancing Little Red Riding Hood dropped into one of the fights in Arrow (tbh it was probably because they weren’t used to seeing girls in their STEM classes).

But you know what was even worse, it was like the teacher had this little part of him that expected me to be pretty bad. He didn’t do this knowingly or really outwardly, but it was the little things that got to me. It was that quick 1-second knowing smile he would give me every time I asked a question, his sympathy every time I got one of the questions wrong. It was absolutely terrible. I knew it was not his fault, that it had been geared into his brain. Society has told him that only young white boys or that stereotypical Asian dude with a funny accent that shows up on every tv show can code, but it still didn’t make it right. 

Being the super stand up, sarcastic girl I am, I wanted to tell him “HELLO! GIRLS DON’T HAVE TO BE TERRIBLE AT COMP SCI”. Obviously I didn’t do that, but once I actually tried in his class and ended up being kinda good at it (surprises me too tbh), it had the same effect.

Now I’m in AP (aka College level) Computer Science, and yeah there are still only 2 other girls in my class, but I’m still doing it. Yeah, I am the only girl on the executive board of Geek League (I know, it’s a nerdy name), but I’m still there. And that comp sci teacher, those boys who thought I would be terrible, here I am. 

Anyway, I want to tell you, girls (or anyone), it’s okay to be different. It’s okay to stand out. But it’s not okay when people treat you differently because you are different. Defy expectations and prove that random person who thought you would suck wrong. You are amazing and trust me, if a normal girl (who’s only true accomplishment in life is binge-watching Netflix for 23 hours straight) can do something, so can you.  

By the way, there are really few girls who are coding. According to college board (that huge, ginormous company that created the death test AKA the SATs), only 21% of those who take AP computer science are girls. That is like nothing. And only 15% of all engineers, including computer engineers, are girls. We need more girls in math and science, especially engineering. I know calculus and physics are hard (trust me, I’ve been there… AP Calc is killing me rn), but we need more girls out there. If you are a girl in science, please don’t give up because it is hard or because you are lonely. Try to get the help and support you need (if ya need it cuz you are a girl boss). Most of all, I am proud of you. Surpassing all the expectations society has on you is not easy and you really are making a difference. 

So girls, go out there and code (or engineer, or do math or science)! And most of all, try to get other girls to do that same.

*Note to all: I am not saying that boys shouldn’t do STEM, boys can and should do STEM as well. It is just that there are very few girls who do it and are really good. We need more so I am trying to get more girls into it and that is why I wrote this article. 

Aishwarya Singh is a 16 year old feminist from New Jersey. She is an active coder who is the founder of her non-profit The Coding Girls who run coding events and classes in the central NJ area. She is also the only female executive board member of Geek League, a tech group at her local library. Also a Her Campus High School Ambassador and Clover Letter Intern, she loves to write articles relating to feminism and the effects of autism of families. She also loves to watch Netflix especially Friends and Vampire Diaries. You can get involved with The Coding Girls by emailing Aishwarya at aishwarya0823@gmail.com

10 Funny Feminists you should check out on Twitter

Author:
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By Amy Callaghan

Twitter has the potential to be an incredibly grim place, particularly for women. Often, women receive insults, hate and even threats from those – usually men – who take issue with what they say publicly, even if they didn’t particularly intend to make any kind of statement. Fortunately, amidst all the negativity, there are plenty of women on Twitter who combine feminism with humour, even at the risk of potentially receiving hate. When the world is all doom and gloom, brighten your timeline with these hilarious women offering a humorous take on everything from gender inequality to the latest political horror show.

Lex Croucher @lexcanroar
Lex Croucher is a British vlogger who is vocal about social issues through all her social media channels. Combine this with her incredibly dry sarcastic humour, and her Twitter is a reliable source of simultaneously relatable and relevant content.

Ruby Tandoh @rubytandoh Ruby Tandoh was a finalist on the Great British Bake Off in 2013. She is a witty and outspoken young queer chef whose unapologetic passion for food – no matter how ‘unhealthy’ – makes a refreshing change from the pretentiousness of many food writers. She’s also unapologetic about her love of One Direction, the Kardashians, and junk food – her Twitter is a potent blend of these ingredients making for an incredibly satisfying addition to your timeline.

Danielle Henderson @knottyyarn

Danielle Henderson is a busy woman – when she’s not writing for The New York Times and The Guardian or creating the hilarity that is Feminist Ryan Gosling, she’s keeping it real on Twitter with her tweets centring on race, class and gender.

Gabby Noone @twelvoclocke Gabby Noone is a staff writer for Rookie magazine. Her (seriously underrated) Twitter will bring you the witty observations of an unapologetic millennial, as well as genius insights about how to manage smartphones after getting acrylics (rhinestone styluses, if you were wondering). 

Rosie Fletcher @rosieatlarge

Rosie Fletcher is a young writer living with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Her Twitter offers an entertaining mix of knitting, feminism, children’s literature, and her political views, in addition to offering her enlightening perspective on experiencing living with a disability.

Kashana Cauley @kashanacauley Kashana Cauley is a writer whose tweets – even those centring on serious issues and situations – and are often loaded with withering sarcasm.

WomanAgainstFeminism @NoToFeminism

Even if you aren’t already following this satirical account, chances are you’ve seen it retweeted a few times. Their tweets make fun of the frequent reasons cited by women who claim to be against feminism in the most ridiculous and hilarious way possible, shining a light on how insane it is for any woman to consider herself against feminism.

Mara Wilson @MaraWritesStuff The star of ‘Matilda’ from all those years ago is now a super cool, super feminist, super funny queer writer. If you’re not already following her, you definitely should be.

Naomi Ekperigin @Blacktress

Comedian and writer Naomi Ekperigin is as funny on Twitter as she is writing for the commercial and critical success Broad City. Her tweets are hilarious and relatable, but she doesn’t shy away from the big issues either.

Alison Leiby @AlisonLeiby Alison Leiby is a comedian and writer in New York whose tweets, particularly those of a feminist persuasion, are dripping with sarcasm, perfectly exposing and making light of some of the ridiculous stereotypes placed on women.

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What comes with the wave

Author:
699A8846

A guest poem and video by Hollie Cooper

Perhaps I’m not like you at all.

Yes, most definitely not like you.

Definitely afraid of you.

I’m not here for beauty.

Nor for rules.

Just to be.

Not to get caught in a tiresome wind.

Not to dance like a kite but to fly away.

The waves crash.

The moment breathes.

The sun gazes.

Governed by her own accord, her rays here for no one.

To emulate her is to be free.

Fly me to the moon.

Let me live uncritised.

Do not label me.

I am energy running wild.

Running dark.

Running blood.

Running gold.

Running thin.

Running plentiful.

Running real.

Running in circles.

Not for no one.

But life itself.

You can read more of Hollie’s poetry here: https://www.holsnco.com/caught-in-the-riptide

Ode to the teenage diary

Author:
dear diary

By Sophia Simon-Bashall

I feel as though when I say that I keep a diary, people look at me differently. There’s something judgemental in their response. That’s something that I’m used to, because I was a teenage girl for a pretty long time, and I’m a massive One Direction fan – most people tend to look down on people who meet this criteria. Actually, there’s a link there. People who like One Direction and people who write diaries can be anyone, but what demographic are they traditionally associated with? That’s right – teenage girls.

Obviously, I’m a cheerleader for teenage girls. I love teenage girls and I have experienced first-hand how smart they can be, how kind they can be, how strong and brave and creative they can be.

I am also a cheerleader for diaries and journaling. I believe that there is so much value in this practice, especially as something in the life of a teenage girl.

In a culture which teaches girls to hold back our emotions; to be good and sit pretty; where we are to be seen and not heard – writing a diary is an amazing release. Our diaries are private spaces, and nobody can criticise or judge us. Our diaries are places where we are allowed to let it out. All of it.

Anger is a particularly difficult emotion for a lot of girls to express, because we’ve been taught that it’s an ‘ugly’ emotion. I really struggle with it, and tend to only ever direct it onto myself. But if I take the time to sit down with my journal (or any old notebook, even a scrap piece of paper – and failing that, the notes app in my phone) I can get out some of that pent up rage. I can release my frustrations, and it doesn’t cause any harm to me or to anyone else. I also like that because nobody else is going to see what I write, it can be messy visually, too. I like things to be ‘perfect’, because I like to have people’s approval. In the comfort of my own pages, I don’t need anybody’s approval. I can, for once, relax, and scribble away.

It’s not just the emotions of girls that are undervalued, but our everyday experiences. We are taught to value what upper-middle class white men say, and to ignore the lessons we learn in our own lives. We learn early in life to question what we have to contribute to the world, we are told the story of our irrationality, our fickleness, our naivety. When we write in our diaries, we tell ourselves a new narrative. When we write about our lives, we are writing to remind ourselves that we have something to say and that it matters.

As a teenage girl, I was told often that my mood swings were normal, ‘just hormonal’, and that I was overdramatic. Now, I cannot say that I was not dramatic – I remain so to this day – but I can say that these comments were dismissive. They told me that other people knew best what was going on in my head, and that stopped me from talking about it. I even told myself, “you’re making this all up”, “this isn’t real”. I didn’t believe in my own version of events, I didn’t trust myself in the slightest. Finding that self-trust is something I’m still working on. But I am always learning, and my diary is instrumental in that discovery. At 15 years old, reading my own diary entry from the day before was what made me wake up, and realise that what was going on in my head was serious. At 19, it is what made me stop denying the truth and recognise the significance of what I was feeling – my diary helped me to end a relationship I was no longer happy in, and leave a space that was triggering my anxiety and depression to the extreme. My diary saved me from my own denial.

This record of memories and the validation of our personal experiences is also important to our identity. It is so easy for your sense of who you are to get tangled up with who you’re ‘supposed to be’. Teenage girls are thrown hundreds of mixed messages every single day, and we lose ourselves to it all. We allow ourselves to be defined by others and simply categorised. Not because we want to be, but because it’s overwhelming, and it can feel like the easiest option to play pretend. But in our diaries, we can take off the masks. We can be honest, and that is healing.

Nobody’s identity is static, but mine is particularly erratic. I have spent my life moulding myself into different forms, usually out of a sense of desperation, a need to be seen, a fear of being abandoned by the people I loved. For me, identity is something I don’t understand – none of the people I’ve been in the past really feel like me. When I read through old diaries, it’s painful. “I don’t know her”, I think, going through the journal I kept during my hospitalisation at 15 years old. But as uncomfortable as my past selves make me, it’s important that I connect with them, learn to accept them and, ultimately, forgive them. And when I read my old diaries, I learn about who they were, and by extension who I am. This was the only place that I was honest, and so it gives me an insight to thought patterns; shows me the consistencies in my likes and dislikes; proves to me that there is a thread which connects me to myself. I’m not just fragments.

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