Guest Blog by Brianne Wheeler
As children, we’re taught to use our manners, to say “please” and “thank you.” So I thought I’d use my manners and thank one of the biggest influences in my life: the media! I mean, when I look at the flawless woman on the cover of the magazine as I check out at the grocery store, I’m so grateful for all the choices I’m given: the clothes, the makeup, the products to make me look as perfect as this woman looks.
Dear media, I’m so grateful that you help me better understand and see what society wants me to look like, dress, act, and behave like so I can change myself for the better. Lucky me, right? What would I do without you telling me who I am?! Because you do all this work to help me out, I simply must thank you!
Seventeen: Thank you for making me feel like I must blow out my hair and put a ton of product in it to make it pretty. Thanks for putting Leighton Meester in pink to make her look even girlier. Thanks for giving me tips on how to look cute for spring… perfect hair and makeup tricks!? Wow! That’s so nice of you. Anddddd you’re going to show me how to get flat abs and a great butt by spring break, too? You’re too kind. Once again… thank you!
Cosmo: Thanks for showing me how to look sexy while putting on my high heels… I can’t wait to pause and look up as I put them on next time. I’ll be sure to hold my hair back just like your cover girl. Oh and I’ll make sure my dress and shoes match perfectly. Thanks for giving me crazy sex confessions… I can’t wait to laugh my ass off. And I am soooo thankful for the best birth control tips! Who knew you were so knowledgeable about women’s health!? Again… thanks so much!
Glamour: Thanks for putting Rihanna on the cover! She looks so happy which must mean I will be happy if I read this magazine! Also, I am so thrilled you are giving me easy beauty tricks with three-minute miracles… did Rihanna use them while getting ready for the cover shoot? I figured! Oh, and thank you for reassuring me I can relax because guys love me just the way I am, I was really worried they didn’t. Also I am so excited you told me how to eat, drink and not gain weight… let me guess: eat celery and drink water? Thanks for that!
How can one little magazine cover have soooo many important messages about hair, makeup, sex, secrets, body, and clothes!? What would I be without you?